Title: The Most Dangerous Game

Rating: T for slight language and some depressing content

Characters: Doug Eiffel, Renee Minkowski, Daniel Jacobi, Isabel Lovelace, Hera (Wolf 359)

Relationships: Doug Eiffel & Hera, Doug Eiffel & Renee Minkowski, Daniel Jacobi & Doug Eiffel & Hera & Isabel Lovelace & Renee Minkowski

Word Count: 1600 words

Content Warnings: Canon-typical amnesia, identity issues, insecurity, past loneliness that implies suicidal thoughts, discussion of smoking

Brief Synopsis: After Doug discovers an unplayed game of Uno, the gang decides it could be a nice way to kill some time. However, the game puts a degree of strain on the peace the members of the house have established, mostly unseriously, but Doug is still considering his place among the survivors of the Hephaestus mission, and he may have had ulterior motives for pulling out this game…

Plus, the Funzo incident, Pryce & Carter’s Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual, and an unremarkable lighter.

~~~~~~~

“Renee, I think you should reconsider–”

“Shut up, Doug,” Renee snaps, staring at Jacobi intently. “You have no idea what he’s done. What he’s put me through.”

“You deserved it,” Jacobi says coldly. “I had enough of your boasting, Minkowski. Figured you could use a little humbling.”

“I think both of you should die in a snake pit,” Isabel grumbles. “Doug, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re the only person here I respect.”

Doug raises his eyebrows and winces. “Thanks?”

“Hey!” Hera cries indignantly from the ceiling. “I’m also here, y’know, and I had nothing to do with this!”

“Oh, because you’re so innocent, Hera.” Jacobi folds his hands together. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you did to me.”

“I was trying to survive, Jacobi,” Hera snarls. “I thought you of all people might understand!”

Doug raises one of his hands. “I think we should all just calm down! Nothing’s gonna happen if we just keep fighting!”

“Exactly,” Isabel says. “Take your goddamn turn, Renee.”

Renee sighs, put upon, and puts down a yellow 3.

Doug lets out a relieved breath and folds his cards together.

The five of them are trapped in a rousing game of Uno, and Doug almost regrets being curious about the game. Renee definitely has a ruthless side, if his past self’s logs are any indication, but the other members of the crew aren’t much better. Isabel can be really mean, when she wants to be, and Jacobi’s prickly even on his best days. Hera is…also always there, and she usually makes Doug feel safe, but…sitting next to her in a game of Uno has proven to be a volatile experience.

“I’m glad you’re still capable of being sensible, Minkowski,” Jacobi says with a sneer. “Now we can be civil.”

“Oh my God, Jacobi,” Isabel complains. “Just take your turn.”

Jacobi grumbles, but he puts down a red 3 and slumps back in his chair.

“I had no idea we were playing the most dangerous game,” Isabel grumbles, putting a red 2 on the stack in the middle. “I would’ve prepared beforehand.”

“Clearly, you learned nothing from the Funzo incident, Commander,” Hera says, and both Renee and Isabel jump.

“I thought we agreed never to speak about that again,” Renee hisses, and Doug looks at her warily, then over at Hera’s camera.

“Uh…what’s Funzo? I know it was mentioned in the Protocol Manual, but–”

“Wait.” Isabel holds up a hand. “You read Pryce and Carter’s Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual?”

“Yeah?” Doug shrinks back slightly as the other heads (and camera) at the table snap to look at him. “Look, it seemed interesting! I thought maybe it would give me insight or something!”

“You read it.” Renee’s eyes are wide. “You.”

“Yeah!”

“Draw 2, Doug,” Hera says, and Doug looks down and smirks a little, the scrutiny forgotten.

He puts down another card. “Draw 4, Renee.”

Renee shoots a victorious look to her right. “Draw 6, Jacobi!”

“Dammit!” Jacobi shouts, even as he draws his cards. “This is horrible. You’re killing me, Minkowski.”

“It’s not that bad,” Isabel says, putting down a red 8. “Not as bad as the realization that Dougie-boy over here actually knows protocol.”

“Is it really that unusual?” Doug says meekly. “I know my old self at least knew a few of the tips from the book.”

“He did,” Hera confirms. “Uno, by the way.”

“How did that happen?” Renee asks.

Neither Doug or Hera respond, but something seems to occur to Renee anyway, because she looks down at her cards again. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He tries for a smile. “Whatever it is, I probably don’t remember it.”

Jacobi meets his eyes across the table. “You got stranded in space,” he says, sounding bored. “I had to rescue you.”

“That is not what happened,” Renee says hotly, and Doug looks down. He doesn’t want them to argue because of him.

“Hey Doug?” Hera says gently, camera pointed his way. “It’s your turn.”

“Oh. Yeah, right.”

In the silence that follows, he sets down a reverse card, and Hera plays her own last card.

“WOOO!” she cheers. “Take that, humans!”

“Nice job, Hera,” Doug says, and he gives her a small, genuine smile.

“Wanna play again?” Isabel asks the rest of the table, and Doug frowns.

“Nah, I’m gonna…go back to my room.”

“Oh. Okay. Did you…want some company?” Renee asks.

“No,” he says, maybe a bit too quickly. “I just…need some time to myself, y’know?”

“Okay,” Renee repeats. Her face falls slightly. Doug feels a sharp pang of something in his chest.

“I’ll…be down for dinner, later.”

With that, he makes a somewhat hasty retreat to his room on the second floor.

The room barely has anything in it. He hadn’t exactly had anything to decorate it with when they’d first gotten the house, and he still doesn’t have anything to put on the walls. When he and Renee and Lovelace had gone shopping, he’d gotten some glow in the dark stars to put on the ceiling, but otherwise the radio in his room and television on the wall (with a DVD player below it) are the only things marking the room as his.

He just…doesn’t know who Doug Eiffel is. That’s the problem. Everyone’s looking at him like he’ll just become someone else. Like he’ll just snap back like a rubber band and be the old Doug again.

He pulls the lighter out of his pocket. It’s a small black one with an orange lightning bolt on it.

Doug wonders if it held some kind of significance to the old him, whether it was important enough to keep or if he just had it on the space mission because it was the only one he had. Was ‘Officer Eiffel’ the kind of person to have multiple lighters? He doesn’t know.

He might never know. And maybe that’s okay.

“Hey, Doug?”

Doug jumps, but he looks up at the ceiling in the direction of Hera’s voice. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“Did you…really want to be alone, or did you not want to talk to the Commander?”

He flicks the lighter open in a familiar motion. He’s been having flashes recently, but he hasn’t told anyone except Hera.

“I didn’t really want to talk to anyone,” he admits. “They all look at me like, like they know me, but I…I don’t even know me!”

“...And it’s hard to talk to Minkowski especially.”

“Yeah,” he admits with a sigh. “I hate it because…she seems so lovely! Like, she’s just so patient and nice but she also wants me to be the old him, and…I’m still not sure if I want that.”

“Did you…have another memory flash today? Is that why you wanted to play something?”

“Kinda. Not really.” He scratches the back of his head and sits down on the bed. “I just…well, it was about being alone. In space.”

“On a shuttle?”

“No, just…completely alone in a spacesuit. Drifting around the star, and I remember thinking…if I died, would anyone miss me? And, the fact that it was in my head, the fact that I didn’t know if they would come get me if I fell into the star. I didn’t know if they would even notice, and I…I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Oh, Doug, I’m so sorry.” She sounds genuinely sympathetic. “I didn’t even think…no, it’s best we talk about it later. But, I’m glad you’re okay, for what it’s worth. And I’m glad you’re you, no matter…no matter what memories you do or don’t have.”

He flicks the lighter open again and lights it.

“Why did I have this in space, though?” he asks, and Hera laughs.

“Honestly? No idea. Probably for your cigarette stash.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that was in one of the logs.” He smiles. “Man, I was kinda stupid, huh?”

“A little, but…we loved you for it.”

“Yeah, maybe…” He sighs. “Nah, like you said, we can talk about the memory later. It’s still just a flash though.”

“It’s still something in your head!” Hera says. “And we still need to talk about it eventually. No matter how big it is.”

Doug sighs again, though this one is more dramatic. “Ugh, fine. But you know what…”

“What is it, Doug?”

He grins toothily, flopping back on the bed. “That’s what she said.”

The strangled noise Hera makes is totally worth the lights turning off in his room.

“But hey,” he says, voice more serious. “I’m glad we played something today, even if it was Uno.”

“You didn’t even know what Uno was before today!”

“Still, no matter how painful it was, it would be fun to do it again.” He smiles softly as the lights power back on. “How red do you think we could get Renee to turn if we sabotaged her at every opportunity?”

“Very red, I bet,” Hera says, amused. “Wanna go for it?”

He closes his eyes and puts the lighter on the bed next to him. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Doug.”

“Goodnight, Hera. And…tell Renee it’s not about her, okay? It’s just…it’s a me thing.”

“....Alright.” She lets out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to be so hard on yourself.”

“Hey, that’s not what’s happening! I’m being a normal amount of hard on myself.”

The lights go out again and Doug chuckles.

“Go to sleep, moron.”

Doug salutes in the dark, before pulling himself back all the way onto the bed, and letting his head fall on the pillow.

He stares comfortably at the glow in the dark stars, shining softly, until his eyes finally drift shut.